20 Stupidest Things To Say To A Cop
1. Hey, wasn’t your daughter a porn queen?
2. I’m surprised you stopped me – Dunkin’ Donuts is having a 3 for 1 special!
3. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
4. What do you mean, “Have I been drinking?” YOU’RE the trained specialist.
5. Well officer, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
6. Hey, is that a 9mm? That’s nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
7. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
8. No, YOU assume the position.
9. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us knows.
10. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?
11. No, offf, offic, lucifer…I’m not as think as you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.
12. No, I don’t know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110 MPH.
13. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!
14. But officer, I’ve got 2 different drivers licenses from 2 different states! Pick ONE PLEASE!
15. Back off Barney, I have got a piece.
16. On the way to the station, let’s get a six pack, oh and don’t forget the hookah.
17. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that’s how far ahead they are.
18. Gee officer, that’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
19. So that’s what those yellow flashing lights in the school zone mean?
20. Come on, write the stupid ticket, the bar closes in 20 minutes!